so...I think I wrote this three or four years ago

This is so not the summer I thought it would be.

One of my roommates hates me I'm pretty sure. And for no reason. Just because whenever she's home I don't go out there to talk to her because I'm back in my room being busy. I can't help it I have things to do. Like clean my room. Search for things in my boxes of stuff (which I refuse to unpack since I'm moving in 4 months). Sleep (because I have to wake up at 430 in the morning) So it's not like I'm purposefully being unfriendly she only is home at weird times because she's a nurse so she gets home as I'm getting ready for bed. Not my fault.

Also I'm working a lot already, (over 40 hours this week... oops) but I still need another job. OY VEY! and I would go get a waitressing job but everyone knows that people don't tip as well at lunch which is what I would have to work. Also I already work with food at night at the MTC so that can be a little stressful to have to do it all day.

I spend my days in rubber gloves. I think I'm allergic to the powder in them and my hands perpetually smell like rubber gloves.

Tom is gone and not coming back. So I won't see him for 3 years about.

I haven't seen my whole family since Easter and won't until Christmas

Haven't seen my best friends since Christmas and won't until next Christmas probably.

I won't have any time to explore Utah (namely Salt Lake) like I wanted to.

I also barely have any time to hang out and make friends with new people in my ward.

I was stupid enough to sign up for a job that starts at 5 in the morning. But the pay is great 8.48 an hour. 15 hours a week.

and The Office made me angry this week despite its insane hilarity.

AND I still have had no proper wallow, I feel like Rory Gillmore after her and Dean broke up the first time.

And I feel like I'm in limbo.

I thought this would get better as time went on but the feeling seems to linger and get worse I think I need closure but can think of no possible way to get it. I hate that I'm going to have a "what if I had..." kind of thing in my life.