Friday, May 31, 2013

I Noticed Differences

I can't sleep. Which really stinks because I need to be up in 5 hours and then drive for an hour. My mind is just racing for some reason. So maybe laying out some thoughts will be helpful.

The school year is almost over.  I feel frazzled. I'm really glad I have a day without students that I can use to focus on getting my room organized the way I want it. It was hard coming in during the middle of the year. I still feel like I'm in another teachers room.  So I'm looking forward to that most defs.

Also I've noticed some differences from my first school to this one in the way I'm treated.
At my old school we were all pretty much first year teachers. But we had a lot of responsibility. I feel like as a middle school we really bonded as a team and really tried to work together more. We talked about how to handle different kids and to make learning and responsibility a priority for our students. I had to go to TONS of IEP meetings because, let's face it, I was ata charter school and like 90% of my students had IEPs. I miss all those students so much.  Anyways at my new school we're actually told we are part of these teams but I don't really feel a part of my main team. Mostly because I don't really have a strong bond with the other two teachers. I feel like they see me as this young new teacher who they saved from this horrible situation and who doesn't really know much. I know why they think that; it's because I'm very quiet when you first meet me. I just am. And we were I. An IEP meeting the other day witha mom who didn't speak English. So when I was giving feedback I had to wait for the interpretation which threw off my flow. And afterward they were like treating me like I was trying to sugar coat the truth. But the reason I struggled was the flow interruption. They were saying things like "You just learn after awhile that you have to just lay things out how they are." And All I could think was yeah I know I've already been to billions of IEPs. Plus I'm an honest person, I know lying will help nothing. I'm not mad because I know they we just trying to be helpful but it was irritating because I know that I'm capable of what they were assuming I couldn't do.

And then idk why it bugs me so much that they treat me like such a newbie. Maybe it's because I've been teaching or tutoring in one form or the other since high school. Teaching is just what I do. I taught sped kids math in high school as a sophomore. Then I was a peer tutor for chemistry as a senior in high school. I'm pretty sure I was a peer tutor my junior year of high school too it i can't recall for what class. Then I was a science teacher at a private school. And a physics tutor. Then I was a physical science 100 ta at BYU. Plus my student teaching, I just feel like its just something that interests me and I'm good at it. So yes it bugs me when people treat me like I don't know anything about teaching.

I'm not saying I do know everything, and I do appreciate advice and help. And I do love and appreciate my teammates. They are great people. It's just very different than what I was at. Some good different and some bad different.

Oy vey I'm just glad the first year is over.