Tuesday, September 6, 2011

so...I think I wrote this three or four years ago

This is so not the summer I thought it would be.

One of my roommates hates me I'm pretty sure. And for no reason. Just because whenever she's home I don't go out there to talk to her because I'm back in my room being busy. I can't help it I have things to do. Like clean my room. Search for things in my boxes of stuff (which I refuse to unpack since I'm moving in 4 months). Sleep (because I have to wake up at 430 in the morning) So it's not like I'm purposefully being unfriendly she only is home at weird times because she's a nurse so she gets home as I'm getting ready for bed. Not my fault.

Also I'm working a lot already, (over 40 hours this week... oops) but I still need another job. OY VEY! and I would go get a waitressing job but everyone knows that people don't tip as well at lunch which is what I would have to work. Also I already work with food at night at the MTC so that can be a little stressful to have to do it all day.

I spend my days in rubber gloves. I think I'm allergic to the powder in them and my hands perpetually smell like rubber gloves.

Tom is gone and not coming back. So I won't see him for 3 years about.

I haven't seen my whole family since Easter and won't until Christmas

Haven't seen my best friends since Christmas and won't until next Christmas probably.

I won't have any time to explore Utah (namely Salt Lake) like I wanted to.

I also barely have any time to hang out and make friends with new people in my ward.

I was stupid enough to sign up for a job that starts at 5 in the morning. But the pay is great 8.48 an hour. 15 hours a week.

and The Office made me angry this week despite its insane hilarity.

AND I still have had no proper wallow, I feel like Rory Gillmore after her and Dean broke up the first time.

And I feel like I'm in limbo.

I thought this would get better as time went on but the feeling seems to linger and get worse I think I need closure but can think of no possible way to get it. I hate that I'm going to have a "what if I had..." kind of thing in my life.


Anonymous said...

Why did you feel the need to post it now? It is depressing. Does your life seem better now? I love you. Mom

Renny said...

Summer of 2008.

Not a good summer for either of us.

But at least we had each other, and my washer and dryer. And the Gilmore Girls. And three extra beds in my apt for you to sleep on.

Those were all good things.