Not a Feminist

I've actually written a few posts lately but I haven't published them. But I have more thoughts on life about things that are bugging me.

I have been thinking a lot about why I don't identify as a feminist lately. I do believe in equality between the genders. I don't think girls are better than boys or boys are better than girls. I do celebrate their differences. I am deeply saddened by the horrible atrocities women throughout the world are subjected to, such as female circumcision, being unable to attend school, and denied certain freedoms that in the US we don't even give a second thought to. I am so grateful to the suffragettes who helped secure my right to vote. And the women who went into fields dominated by men and paved a way for me to go into science.

All these things would have you thinking that I am a feminist. But I can't take on that label when I read articles written by feminists and find not only the articles but the comments on the articles full of vitriol and bitterness from other feminists. I am even told that I can't be a feminist if I don't support a woman's right to choose abortion. But I cannot and will not ever support that. (That's a post for another day though.) I can't stick up for the men in the comments who offer a different perspective, because I'm "enabling the patriarchy." I can't think periods are gross, or I have been conditioned to think that by "the patriarchy" and I'm some one to be pitied. I can't offer a different take on something that is supposed to be offensive because again I'm conditioned by "the patriarchy." And I'm supposed to take offense to so many things.

Side note: I think periods are gross because they are messy and bloody. I don't like blood. (I can't be a nurse or a doctor because it just grosses me out). It ruins perfectly good clothes. Yeah it's natural. You know what else is natural? Poop, pee, and boogers. All things I find gross and all ways of expelling waste from the body just as your period is doing with the wasted lining of your uterus. I'm not stupid or brainwashed, I think things leaving your body should not be shared with others because it's gross. That's not to say I think it should be a secret or something you never talk about, but I can still think they are gross. I mean obviously I just wrote a whole paragraph about it. 

If you are wondering what articles I'm talking about. Just pick a random article on Buzzfeed that has feminist tones in the title. Or even one that doesn't. Buzzfeed is a horrible place to get your news from, but their articles get shared so much that I end up reading it a lot. I also read articles from Salon, Hello Giggles, Feminist Mormon Housewives and other random things that come up in my feeds.

Not very often do I find an article I agree with on a whole. And when I do there are still people in the comments that take feminism to a whole other level than I can handle.

Look, I understand the concept of what feminism is supposed to be. I get that their are radicals in every group and extremes. But It just seems like in the feminist community most people I hear are extremists. And also condescending.

I want the best for both genders. I want to listen and learn from men and women. I believe our differences can bring us together. I don't think two wrongs make a right. So just because women have been historically subjected to being sex objects in the media, I don't think we should turn around and do that to men. I don't think we should say men shouldn't have a voice at all when it comes to reproductive issues. It takes two to tango you know. I don't think it's right to say only women experience being afraid to walk places, or holding your keys as a weapon. Or when you write an article about sexist things that happen in a relationship but every example you give is what a man does to a woman, you can't be mad when men comment that they have experienced those things from their female partners. And you can't tell them they deserve it because "patriarchy." Or that they still don't understand because most women have experienced these things multiple times.

And those comments are getting tons of likes. It leaves a bad taste  in my mouth.

But it started before the internet too. I remember in elementary school not wanting to get into all the girl power stuff. I've never had issues of being told I can't do something because I'm a girl. I've never been told that. If anything I've felt the opposite. I remember there was a big sleepover for girls only at my elementary school and we all got to sleep in the cafeteria and we watched "Ever After." It was fun. But I also remember a lot of the stuff that was said made me feel like I was being told I was better than boys simply by being a girl. And that's the first time I felt like I don't agree with that stuff. And over the years that feeling has grown.

I think this all stems from the fact that I first think of people as PEOPLE. Every person is deserving of love and respect in my eyes. Every person, no matter what, has the potential to succeed and do well.

I will continue to fight in society for equal rights for all people around the world. I will continue to support those who are willing to work for success. I'll continue to fight against idiots who have superiority complexes. But I think I can do all that without labeling myself as a feminist. I'm a humanist.

*And no, you don't get to comment "But by saying all that you are a feminist because that's what feminism is." No! Because as I've explained in my post that is not what I've seen or experienced, and as many of feminist likes to say "You don't get to invalidate my experiences."

Thoughts on Life

Here's some thoughts I have had for the past year:

• If you were mad at Bill Clinton in the 90's for being a misogynist creep but you make excuses for Donald Trump's words, you are a hypocrite.
• If you are mad about what Donald Trump said about women, but you make excuses for Bill Clinton's behavior in the 90's (while president), you are a hypocrite.
• If you can't take responsibility for your actions, you're not an adult. You're just a big baby who wants to blame all your problems on other people.
• If women deserve respect just because they are people, doesn't Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Mike Pence, Obama, Sanders and everyone else deserve respect as they are also human? (This is in response to a popular meme I saw going around claiming women deserve respect because they are human)
• I'm a conservative I am not
• racist
• misogynistic
• selfish
• hateful
• a bigot
• any other negative labels you would like to throw at me
• I believe most problems actually can't be solved with money, and often solutions are slow and take time to take affect.
• I have no problem with Welfare, but let's improve it by adding mandatory classes to help people learn how to improve their resumes, job skills, etc. 
• As is often pointed out, I believe most people on welfare don't actually want to be on Welfare, but what help are we really offering them to get off of it?
• And obviously I'm talking about people who are able to work but just can't find work or aren't able to get a job.
• I don't like Big Government. I believe in local government because local government knows better what the needs of it's people are in a certain area. 
• Like rural areas have different needs than urban areas. And San Francisco has different needs than Phoenix.
• And I do believe the Federal Government has a place but it's shadow is growing so huge and it's grasp on our lives is getting a bit out of control.

There's more but I have stuff to do now. Maybe I will post more later. Maybe I won't. I just had to get these things out there.

Lessons My Parents Taught Me

My parents are really smart. And logical. And giving.

Over my almost 3 decades of life (what?) they have taught me a lot of things about a lot of things.

They've taught me to love others. To listen more than I talk. To look for ways to help. To give willingly. To pray. To not be afraid. To befriend others. To work hard.

You get the idea.

Today I will talk about a few specific things they taught me when I was younger that I remember.

1. "Life's not fair." 
• My daddy would say this every time I would whine that something wasn't fair. Some of you might think that he was just annoyed with me, and tbh, he probably was because I can be really annoying when I whine. But is there a truer statement? Life isn't fair, be grateful for what you have. Try to rectify what you can to make it fair but at the end of the day, life won't be fair until Jesus comes again.
2. "God does answer all our prayers, He just doesn't answer them the way people want, so people think he doesn't answer them."
• My mom told me this when I asked her about why God doesn't answer every one's prayers. It was after listening to a very popular country song about unanswered prayers (You know the one). IDK if my mom remembers this, I was really young, but I've always remembered it and let it teach me to trust in God's plan for me. He knows better than I what I need.
3. "Fear is the opposite of faith."
• Both of my parents taught us this often in FHE. I try to remember it when I feel unsure of what is happening in life. And it goes hand in hand with the above lesson about prayer.

This is the first time my mom got to hold Little Buns.

And a bonus fun one:

• When you're parking at church, think about where the sun will be when you get out of church and how that will affect the shade on your car. So you don't just automatically park in the shade right away if in 3 hours the sun has moved and your car will be in full/partial sun. I honestly think about this every Sunday.

In short my parents are awesome. I love them and I hope I can teach my kids as well as they taught me.

So You're Sad

So, it's 2016, and you're feeling kind of sad now right? 

Well here's some quotes and thoughts to help you look on the bright side...

"If something seems bad, turn it around, and find something good." 

- Daniel Tiger

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt lovethy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?" 

- Matthew 5:43-47

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

- Philipians 4:13

Our nation is run on checks and balances, a very wise decision, because then one branch doesn't have all the power. Annoying because it then takes a long time for things to get done. But it's better than the wrong things being done quickly.

In the Book of Mormon there is a man who was going around bashing the church, his family and generally trying to lead people into unrighteousness. His family said many prayers on his behalf. One day he was visited by an angel and he changed his whole life. He spent the rest of his life trying to help and lift others, and redeem himself from his sins. He truly had a change of heart. That is the power of prayer. Alma went on to become the President of the Church.  I believe that prayer can accomplish a lot. As well as living in faith.

Living in faith means to me that your actions reflect your faith. That you are going out and trying to be a good example of the change you wish to see. It will do no good to pray and then sit inside all day and complain about how there is no change. Living in faith also means that we trust in God and his timeline. I once asked my mom, after listening to a popular country song on the radio, if God doesn't answer all prayers. She told me he does, just some people don't like the answer so they ignore it or don't recognize it. I think that includes the answer to wait and be patient. It's easy to get frustrated when waiting, but faith can make it easier.

and finally...

Christ's atonement was for everyone. Every single person. Even people you don't like. Even people that didn't like Jesus. Even people that don't believe he existed. 

I had this thought the other day that part of our journey to becoming Christ-like is finding a way in our hearts to understand that even those people are deserving of love, forgiveness, and a chance to change. Even those people can change. 

And you probably thought this was going to be a funny post. 

Sorry.

Ok bye.

Once I was 10 Years Old

A post from a 10 year old Alicia...

"8-30-99

Dear J,

     I had to eat school pizza today. It Tastes really bad! Lindsey is a big badby! She hates me! I wish she was 4! I love Jacques C! I think he likes me too. I'll find out when I'm 14. Pokemon, I don't like it. Everyone asks me if I have them I do but sucky ones. I wish I never get yelled at and that Lindsey always has to clean the room!

Love, 

Alicia"

I changed the name of the boy to Jacques Cousteau to spare the comments from my family. Also as a nod to Friends which I have been watching lately.

You're welcome.

Notice the misspelling then correction of baby. Classic Alicia.

Thoughts on Journaling

I have been journaling since 2nd grade. Not consistently, but yeah since 2nd grade. I love it. It is a way to help me clear my head and get all my thoughts out there and really think things through.

Remember when I turned 22 and I made my "22 List" of things to do that I'd never done and writing in my journal everyday was one of those things? Well I did that and I loved it. Some days all I wrote was "I'm tired." or "I love Adrian!" or "I'm mad." with no other explanation. But that's ok. Most days it was because I was really tired but I had made that goal.

Anyways, I was thinking the other day of how I only really journal when things seem to be hard or challenging in my life and I wished I could change that. But then I had another thought, but you need some back story.

Every night when we put Little Buns to bed there is a routine. Change his diaper, put him in pjs, get his milk, and as he drinks his milk we read to him a chapter of the Book of Mormon. Not one with pictures or anything but just the book (well we read it from our phones because otherwise he tries to tear all the pages). He probably doesn't get a lot of it... or any of it...maybe it's just a way to make sure I'm reading the Book of Mormon everyday. Idk but that's what we do.

Anyways, we've been reading the Book of Mormon and I noticed that the scriptures skip over when everything is going well in their lives too. Literally hundreds of years pass in a single verse because every one is righteous and doing what they are supposed to.

So now I don't feel as bad about not writing as much in the good times of my life. Though now I do try to see the good in a situation to help any one who may read my journals in the future.

Do you ever go back and read your journals and just cringe? Or laugh at yourself? I'm tempted to rip those pages up or build a time machine for the sole purpose of going back in time and punching myself in the throat. And then I'd shout,

"You know why!" and go back to the future.

Anyways, I get really embarrassed thinking my great great great great granddaughter will read my journals and I've been such an idiot. Although there are some good things.

And even with her in mind, I still don't censor myself as I write, because I'm keeping it real, you know?

Ok so if you read this far you should know I'm sorry I've been gone, I'm doing my masters and I am really busy with that. But I decided not to do it on Sundays because I need a day you know? And why not the day of rest. Literally called the day of rest so I'll take it. So sorry about that.

But the real announcement is that I'll bring back my journal posts where I write old journal entries. They are fantastic you guys! Fantastic!

Be excited...

Ok bye.

Being a Mother

Ok you guys, my son is the cutest.

I love watching him grow and develop and learn. 

Little Buns learning to play the accordion

I love his strong little personality.

I love being a mom.

But sometimes, I feel like the worst mother.

I know everyone who is a mother has at some point felt this way. Had this recognition that they are not perfect and they could be doing better.

Admitting that there is room to improve is actually a good thing.  That is part of our purpose here. To learn and grow and develop. To recognize our faults and tr to fix them. It won't be easy but it is totally worth it.

And guess what! By the time you die you still won't be perfect. That's ok as long as everyday you are trying to better yourself. Even if it's a smidge each day.

I think sometimes we make a list of all things we need to be doing to be perfect and it's so overwhelming. It's like when I walk into my kitchen and I'm thinking, "This place is going to be spotless when I walk out." But then I get overwhelmed by the dishes and the mess my son has made with all the recycling stuff and his toys and etc and etc. So I just grab Oreos and milk instead.

So we make this huge grand plan of everything we should be doing but it's overwhelming and we don't know where to start. 

But we have to just do what we can at first until that becomes part of who we are.

Then we can start on the next thing.

Anyways, this post got way off track because I was actually going to make a list of the cute things my son does but now it doesn't seem like it fits in this post so maybe I'll just make a separate post about that.

I had this thought today while I was sitting with Little Buns and feeding him some yogurt while watching my guilty pleasure show "Dance Moms" (new season on Hulu y'all). I don't want my kids to be exactly like me. I want them to be better than me. I want them to take the good parts of my personality and improve on the bad parts of my personality. And that's what I'm trying to do with Little Buns.

I know he's only 18 months but I'm constantly worried about what he'll be like as a 12 year old boy, or a teenager. I'm worried about how he'll treat his siblings (this is not an announcement except to announce that in the future sometime we will, hopefully, have more children).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, motherhood is a journey and not like a Candyland kind of journey where you get stuck in some delicious candy. It's more like a combination of Chutes and Ladders and War; where you have really big highs and lows and the game only ends never. And you never know what's going to happen next.

My advice is to rely on the Savior and our Heavenly Father's plan and always have Oreos in the pantry.

****So I know this post is kind of hard to follow. But hopefully you get it. Like I said it wasn't planned to be this way at all so meh.

10 Reasons I Love AZ

From my last post you may think I hate Arizona. But that's just not true.

I really just hate being hot. 

And I have this semi-irrational fear of gangs that I won't get into right now.

Anyways, I actually love a lot of things about Arizona.

So here's a list of 10 reasons I Love Arizona

1. The people! Almost everyone I know from Arizona is so chill. They just roll with the punches and like to laugh. Oh sure they are human sometimes things get out of hand. But a lot of my favorite people are from/in Arizona.
2. The winter! So it's the perfect weather in the winter because it's not so hot. It's perfect for hiking, playing soccer, playing tag, jumping on the trampoline. All those things can happen during the day and you don't have to worry about snow (most of the time-yes it has snowed in

   

   The 3 wise men and their camels.

   Phoenix) (and unless you're in Northern AZ where it does snow in the winter). Also the Mesa temple Lights are the best! My favorite part is the 3 wise men crossing with their camels across the front lawn.
3. It's actually a pretty desert. If you've ever driven through Nevada you know what an ugly place the desert can be. (Sorry Nevada) But Arizona actually has the pretty red rock, the Saguaro cactus (that bloom really pretty blooms) and lots of other cactus that add color  to the scenery. And it all is so beautiful against the Arizona Blue sky. Arizona's skies are beautiful and different than other places I've been.
4. The sky. Ok Sunsets at the beach are petty but Arizona Sunsets are the bomb.com. They are all that and a bag of chips. And yeah it's the pollution, but seriously, you have got to see the sunsets. To see these skies check out my cousin Libby's facebook page  Hello From New River. She takes really beautiful photos of New River, AZ where she lives.
   
5. Public Pools. Ok I don't know if the prices are the same but when I was younger the price to get into the pool as a kid was like $.50 and a $1.50 as an adult. Somewhere around there. Oh and after 6pm it was $.25 for everyone. I remember that because we used to go with our friends sometimes. So I was shocked, SHOCKED, when I took these kids I was babysitting to a public pool in Utah and it was $5 per person and $10 if you wanted to use the wave rider. It was crazy! My best friend and I would go to Cactus Park at least once a week to go swimming when I was younger. That would not be possible in other places I have realized. Perhaps it is seen as a public service to keep people from dying from heat. I don't know but I loved it.
6. Castles and Coasters. I know what you're thinking "Really?" But yes. It's probably mostly nostalgia but I love that place. I have lots of good memories from there with family and friends. Also the log ride people. It's the best ride there and if you go at the right time no one is in line and they just let you stay on forever.
7. Water parks. Water World (I just can't call it Wet N' Wild, it will always be Water World in my heart) & Sunsplash are awesome. (I have never been to Big Surf) Not just nostalgia this time I have not actually been to water parks better than them. Plus Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was partly filmed at Sunsplash

   

   I took this picture at Sunsplash in 2007 in the Lazy River.

   and that's one of the greatest movies ever made. I digress. Other water parks I've been to have been way crowded, not just with people but I feel like the rides are so close together. And you have to rent tubes even for the lazy river. So that means people are SWIMMING in the LAZY river. Sorry but it's not called the "kind of lazy" river. And then if you do get a tube your constantly drowning the small children that are swimming in there without a tube. Tubes should be in the lazy river free of charge (and not be allowed taken other places understandably). I'm probably going to start a change.org petition about this.
8. Northern Arizona. It's really pretty you guys and if you just can't stomach the heat anymore down in Phoenix, Flagstaff is just a 2 hour drive away. Or one of the other numerous small towns in Arizona. It's really lovely. I love that most of Arizona is a lot of small towns.
9. The down hominess of it. I don't really know how to describe this very well but I think it relates to the chillness of the people I mentioned in #1. I just feel like even though I was from this huge sprawling metropolis of Phoenix and the surrounding areas, things were...It's really hard for me to describe. People take their time to do things... But I mean idk hopefully Arizona people understand what I mean. It just had a nice feeling for the most part.
10. Maybe you will say I'm cheating and that 10 is the same as number one but I think they are different. 10 is that my family is mostly all there. All but one of my siblings and their family live there. And I have lots of extended family there. And that's where I feel most comfortable is with them. They are my people and I love them. 

So I haven't shunned Arizona forever, maybe we could live in Northern Arizona one day, but never Phoenix.

Phoenix, Arizona

Ok, if you didn't know, now you do, I'm from Phoenix.

Most of my family is still there.

But despite that, I have a goal of never living there again.

IT'S SO HOT THERE!

And you're going to be like "Oh but it's a dry heat!" 

And then I'm going to have to punch you in the throat.

You don't understand. 

I don't care if you've been there and you're like "The humidity is worse."

I really don't.

It's hot. It's hot there 24/7. It doesn't even cool down at night. It's still 100F at 2 in the morning. By 9 am it's already 95F on a good day. On a horrible day it will already be 100F by 9am.

I've been to the humid places. I mean, I've been to the equator (though I will qualify that I was there in the 'winter' so it wasn't as humid as it normally gets) and I would take that any day over the sweltering oven inferno that is Phoenix, AZ. To me living in an oven is worse than living in a slow cooker.

(And when I get hot I hate everything and everyone and it's the absolute worst.

I realized this at church today because it was so hot there. I was sitting there and I was sweating and fanning myself and trying to avoid holding my child on my lap because I was so hot. And I was just mad. I just hated it. So yes it did take me 28 years to realize why I hate the heat. Probably because I was too hot to try to figure it out before.)

Anyways, last week I went to Phoenix because my dear older sister was getting married.

She got married in the Phoenix, Arizona temple. (So beautiful btw). And then her reception was outside! 

Lindsey and Austin after getting married! And probably like "It's so hot!"

I love my sister. This is how you know:

1. I went to Arizona in the summer.
2. I helped set up the outside reception.
3. I didn't stand in front of the giant fans the entire time at the reception.
4. I helped clean up the reception.

ALL IN THE SWELTERING HEAT!

It seemed so much worse this year than ever, probably because I've been gone for almost a decade.

But I love my sister and the reception was actually really nice and lovely. And I like her husband too. He is good and they are good together. Oh and I got to do the flowers again. So I liked that. And it was nice to see my family. 

But I love them more in the winter than in the summer.*

 No but seriously, I was so happy I could go and they could get married and everything worked out. It was really fun!

*Depending on my location

Stranger Thoughts

Have you been watching "Stranger Things" on Netflix?

via

If not you should try it out because it's pretty good man.

We are 4 episodes in now and we look forward to watching 1 or 2 episodes every night.

Although, when I first heard about the show I was told it was going to be like an X-Files type show. And I guess it kind of is in the way that there's a conspiracy (or is there?) But the thing about the X-Files that I loved is it was scary.

So scary I wasn't allowed to watch it for years. So scary that watching it now still scares me sometimes.

And makes me laugh too sometimes, but mostly it was scary.

Like episode 2 of season 1, THAT GUY GETS INTO YOUR LOCKED HOUSE AND EATS YOUR LIVER! AND HE HAS YELLOW EYES, "SO HELP ME, YELLOW EYES!" (10 points if you know where that quote is from).

But I digress...

"Stranger Things" has so far only made me cry a lot.  It has a few on the edge of your seat moments but mostly it has just made me cry a lot.

Why?

Because a little boy goes missing and that makes me sad.

and

because I cry super easily. I mean I cry at commercials for goodness sakes. Not the Sarah McLaughlin animal cruelty commercial. But the "Touched By an Angel" lady commercial with the kids in third world countries who don't have families.

Basically anytime I feel like a child is hurting or a family is hurting, I'm going to cry.

Anyways, that got a bit too serious and sad.

But yeah, Adrian's coworkers told him "Stranger Things" was scary. One of them even had to watch a happy show afterwards so they could calm down and go to bed after they finished.

So far I'm like "This is just sad, not scary!"

But I think it gets scarier towards the end. Right now it's the setup and then the scare. Hopefully. Yes maybe.

If you spoil this show for me, you should know that I will find you and I will give you a purple nurple.

You've been warned. 

Or a swirly.

You've been warned.

Or a package of Oreo's that is EMPTY! And then you'll see me enjoying all the Oreo's with a nice tall glass of milk. And when you ask for some, I will say "NO! Go give yourself a swirly," while giving you a purple nurple. And then I will finish watching "Stranger Things" and glare at you periodically because I already knew all the shocking parts.

You've been warned.

I mean just because it's not "X-Files" scary doesn't mean it's not good. And I love this kind of show best because it makes you think so much. A very good thriller fo' sho'.

Just be prepared to cry if you cry easily like I do.

Ok Bye

Oh Hey There ;)

Guys, I'm sorry it's been like what... 3 years.

Yeah, I was busy working and having a baby and being married and checking Facebook and you know browsing Pinterest and watching Gossip Girl and working on my Master's degree.

You know all the important things.

No but seriously I guest blogged for my mom on her blog 3 Winks Design and it made me miss blogging so I'm back.

(Seriously my mom is a genius you should check it out. She makes the best stuff on there.)

So instead of writing a lengthy post about all the marvelous things that have happened to us in the last 3 years I will just leave you a list of  

10 Important Things That Have Happened in the Last 3 Years to the Maruri Family. 

(Um I will work on the title of the list later...ok? OK)

1. We had a baby! We call him Little Buns(LB) and you will call him that too. He is just so little and cute. He makes our lives so much fuller and meaningful. Honestly he is the sweetest cutest baby in the world. I love him so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sooooooooooooooo much.  (so I tried to hold down the 'o' to put a lot of 'o's and it wouldn't let me it kept wanting to put an 'ö' [umlaut{?}]) He came 6 weeks early and my water broke 8 weeks early and I had to be in the hospital just basically laying in bed for two weeks until my emergency c-section after having been in labor all day. But it was all worth it. Because he's the best, hands down.

   

   In the NICU

2. Adrian got a job at Pixar! so we moved to the Bay Area (California). Getting this job involved a 6 month internship in which Adrian was in CA and LB and I were still in Utah. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
3. I stopped teaching, because we moved here and I didn't get a job teaching here and I have to stay home with the LB. Which I'm happy about. My sister was living with me while Adrian was gone and she took care of LB while I was working. But then when we moved here she shortly after moved to Kansas to live with my brother and take care of his kids. She is an excellent baby sitter. They hardly get squashed at all.... HAHA Get it? Baby sitter! No but really she's really good.
4. We bought a new car because our old one was leaking gas and we were about to have a baby so that probably wasn't safe.



He's not playing with them here but they are using tracks he recorded.

5. Adrian played in a band called Festive People. They are fantastic! And they got to play at Stadium of Fire. It's a HUGE 4th of July show that is put on at BYU. Um Journey was there so that was awesome. Obvs he doesn't play with them any more because they are based in Utah and we are here. But he misses it, and I do too sometimes because I like their music. FYI they have a new album coming out soon and you should pre-order it on itunes because it's available for pre-order and you won't regret it.
6. I found out I have Hashimoto's. It's the worst...no it's not actually but it is annoying. If you google it though people act like it's the worst. I'm like "I thought I had cancer so this is much better." My Dr actually told me, "Of all the autoimmune diseases you could have, this is the one I would choose to have if I had to have one." (I feel like it was comforting in a weird way). No but it is annoying because you have to take a pill at least 30 minutes before you eat breakfast and I wake up starving a lot. And I mean you are insanely tired all the time, and it suppresses your metabolism so I basically haven't lost any baby weight (after a year), oh and it makes pregnancy difficult and causes premature births (see number one on the list). 
7.  Adrian Graduated from BYU!
8. We went to Ecuador! It was so fun and awesome to visit his homeland and see all his family.
9. Adrian won an award for the sound design he did on a student film called "The Surface" and he was nominated for another award at a different festival.
10. Adrian and LB went to Disneyland for the first time and they loved it and we can't wait to go back.

Ok I made the last 4 short because it was getting kind of long. Sorry about that. It's probably because I have all this backed up blogging energy I guess. 

OK BYE

P.S. All this editing to change the fonts and stuff takes too long and is not as fun when I don't have assignments to procrastinate. So I probs won't be doing it anymore unless you tell me you like it.

Hey I'm Back

So I decided to start my Joy In The Journey blog again so check it out. I might even stop updating this blog. Who knows?

posted from Bloggeroid

What the World Needs Now

Is love, sweet love.

I went to this Broadcast on Sunday and it was awesome.  I think the main message I got from it is that we need to be more loving to everyone.

Even people who don't think the same as we do.  It sounds weird to write that sentence because it sounds like we're thinking collectively as a group all the same things, but that's not how it is.  I think and you think and every individual thinks and has opinions.

And that's a good thing.

Sometimes we don't agree.

And that's ok.

Sometimes we can talk about how we don't agree and still be friends and loving with each other.

That is the message I took from the conference.  Well A message not THE message.

Because I mean the message was on missionary work.  And I got that message too.

And I loved all the messages and answers to prayers I received directly from that broadcast.  I felt like Heavenly Father had been preparing me all week for that broadcast.  I was really grateful he had been.

I would make a link so you could watch the broadcast but I don't think they are rebroadcasting it.

On another note...

Sometimes I read these other blogs and the comments people make.

And it makes me sad.

Because a lot of times the comments imply that because I think differently than the majority of people on that site I am a "closed-minded sheep that just follows and obeys what I'm told to do."  and that I'm "hateful" that I shouldn't vote based on "what I think is best for society no matter how many people it hurts."

And that last one was confusing because I don't think that is anyone's thought process when they vote.  Except crazies, like Hitler.

And don't we all (or shouldn't we all) be voting on what we think is best for society and using our moral compass as a guide?

And I don't think calling me names is really going to persuade me to look at your  arguments any further.

Also I don't think I'm hateful.  I try to be really nice to people and help everyone.  I think that I can dislike someone's actions and still like the person.  To say that's not possible is to deny God's plan for us don't you think?

Heavenly Father gives us agency to make choices.  He tells us there are consequences to choices, for both good and bad.  He knows we can choose to sin.  He also loves every single one of His children.  I do not think that if God hated people who sinned He would have provided the atonement so that they could return to live with Him forever.  I do, however, think that He loves us unconditionally, but He doesn't have to like all of our actions.

Just like a parent loves their child who hits their brother.  The parent still loves both children equally, but doesn't condone the actions of the first child.

I think many people are capable of this kind of love.  Because I think that's how Christ loved.  Yes he loved the adulterous woman, and he didn't condemn her to death.  What did he tell her?  To "go and sin no more."  Because he loved her and he wanted her to be able to live with God forever and with her family.

That's what I want for everyone.  I want everyone to be happy and know that, YES, sometimes life here is hard, but we are loved and there is no reason to give up because we have the Atonement and we can repent and live forever with our families if we endure to the end.

Eternal perspective.  It's important I think.

Anyways I digress, my point is let's just remember that just because we disagree doesn't meant that one of us is a "hateful sheep."  And we can love people without loving their actions.  The greatest examples of this being Christ and Heavenly Father.

I Noticed Differences

I can't sleep. Which really stinks because I need to be up in 5 hours and then drive for an hour. My mind is just racing for some reason. So maybe laying out some thoughts will be helpful.

The school year is almost over.  I feel frazzled. I'm really glad I have a day without students that I can use to focus on getting my room organized the way I want it. It was hard coming in during the middle of the year. I still feel like I'm in another teachers room.  So I'm looking forward to that most defs.

Also I've noticed some differences from my first school to this one in the way I'm treated.
At my old school we were all pretty much first year teachers. But we had a lot of responsibility. I feel like as a middle school we really bonded as a team and really tried to work together more. We talked about how to handle different kids and to make learning and responsibility a priority for our students. I had to go to TONS of IEP meetings because, let's face it, I was ata charter school and like 90% of my students had IEPs. I miss all those students so much.  Anyways at my new school we're actually told we are part of these teams but I don't really feel a part of my main team. Mostly because I don't really have a strong bond with the other two teachers. I feel like they see me as this young new teacher who they saved from this horrible situation and who doesn't really know much. I know why they think that; it's because I'm very quiet when you first meet me. I just am. And we were I. An IEP meeting the other day witha mom who didn't speak English. So when I was giving feedback I had to wait for the interpretation which threw off my flow. And afterward they were like treating me like I was trying to sugar coat the truth. But the reason I struggled was the flow interruption. They were saying things like "You just learn after awhile that you have to just lay things out how they are." And All I could think was yeah I know I've already been to billions of IEPs. Plus I'm an honest person, I know lying will help nothing. I'm not mad because I know they we just trying to be helpful but it was irritating because I know that I'm capable of what they were assuming I couldn't do.

And then idk why it bugs me so much that they treat me like such a newbie. Maybe it's because I've been teaching or tutoring in one form or the other since high school. Teaching is just what I do. I taught sped kids math in high school as a sophomore. Then I was a peer tutor for chemistry as a senior in high school. I'm pretty sure I was a peer tutor my junior year of high school too it i can't recall for what class. Then I was a science teacher at a private school. And a physics tutor. Then I was a physical science 100 ta at BYU. Plus my student teaching, I just feel like its just something that interests me and I'm good at it. So yes it bugs me when people treat me like I don't know anything about teaching.

I'm not saying I do know everything, and I do appreciate advice and help. And I do love and appreciate my teammates. They are great people. It's just very different than what I was at. Some good different and some bad different.

Oy vey I'm just glad the first year is over.

The Rolling Stones

I think the world needs to listen to the Rolling Stones more.

"You can't always get what you want

You can try sometimes

But you might find

You get what you need."

I just feel like people are very focused on themselves and if people could just stop and think and realize that

1. Everybody makes mistakes-YOU are not perfect.  Just like everyone around you.  We are all trying to reach perfection but we are not there yet.  I guarantee it.  If some one calls you out on something you have obviously done wrong DON'T ARGUE.  It makes you sound like a 7th grader (believe me I know, I teach 7th grade).  And now that you know this apply this to other people.  Ok you make mistakes but it's not ok for your friends to make mistakes.  No everybody does.  Welcome to life. Enjoy.  Forgive people.  Don't carry their mistakes around with you.  Learn from it and move on.  (Of course I am talking about petty things that get people so indignant).  Also if you really weren't doing the thing they accuse you of, politely talk it out with them.  Snapping back "No I wasn't blah blah blah."  makes you sound guilty.
2. Not everything is about you-Sometimes people are happy, it's not always going to be because of something you did.  Sometimes people are sad, it's not always because of something you did.  Sometimes people will say things, it's not always directed at you.Sometimes people will do crazy things, it has nothing to do with you.  Just stop taking everything so personally.  Usually if some one is speaking to a very large group, they are speaking to the majority and the experiences the majority can relate to.  They aren't trying to say your experiences are worthless or that you are wrong.  Try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they have good intentions.  If you really have a problem, grow up and go talk to them like an adult.
3. Sometimes we have to go out of our way to help- I just feel like this is self explanatory.
4. People have standards and values that aren't the same as our standards and values-Something that has pushed my buttons since I've heard about it is that people are making fun of my sister for going to church.  Seriously!?  That's like making fun of a person for being gay.  And you may disagree but it is. Going to church and belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is a big part of who my family's identity.  Making fun of something that is part of someone is just rude and hurtful.  And the only reason you're doing it is because you think that they should suffer because they are wrong.  I know this is the hardest thing on this list for all of us because usually our standards and values run so deep within us that when we perceive an attack on them we get very emotional.  Ok let the emotions calm and TALK IT OUT.  I am not implying that I am perfect at number 4 (see number one on the list) or actually any number on this list, but I'm trying to be better.  I'm also not saying that you should give up your values but attacking some one because of their values is wrong.  Respectfully disagreeing is ok but attacks are where trouble happens.

Ok I'm done.

New School and Stuff

So I started my job at my new school in West Jordan.

Yes I left Quail Run, which has since had it's name changed...idk what it is now.  But don't people who have something to hide change their name?  Just Sayin'.

I miss my QRPS students really badly though.  I love their stinking guts.  Even if they did drive me crazy sometimes.  I miss them though.

The new school is good.  I only teach 7th grade.  Which is so different than having 3 preps and teaching 5 different classes.  I feel kind of lazy.  Though my number of students has been multiplied by 5, so there is a lot more grading to do.

The kids all seem to be very nice.  I mean they're 7th graders slowly turning to 8th graders.  So some of them are getting into that stage where everything I do is stupid to them.  It's so weird to see that transition in them.  But I do like them all and I can't think of any of them I am going to be at odds with all the time.  So I am excited to get to know them.

I still miss my kids though.  Yes I call them my kids.

Let me just tell you, Adrian is the best.

Friday he asked me to go out with him.  He took me to Red Robin.  And then surprised me with tickets to "Oz The Great and Powerful."

He's the best.  I love him.

The movie as a movie and not associated with the Wizard of Oz was absolutely fantastic.  I thought it was a great film.  Funny, visually captivating, and it pulls on your heart strings a little.  No it may not win any awards besides for visual effects, but it's a Disney movie and they mostly always do a great job.

As far as being in line with the book...fell flat on its face.  If you dont know, The Wizard of Oz is one of my most favorite books.  But I will do a full comparison some other time.

Well I must go.  TTFN

February Post

So a lot of things are happening this month that are crazy.

And some things are making me mad.

So where should I start?

Let me just make a long story really short, I'm looking for a new job.  For the rest of this school year, seriously.  The place I currently work is taking a turn for the worst.  I'm not comfortable there.  It's a hostile environment. 

So I'm looking around and I'm excited. 

My sister is going on her mission to France.  She leaves on Weds!  Her and my parents are coming here on Monday so we can spend time together.  So that is grood.

The saddest thing about leaving my school is that I will miss my kids (I call my students my kids).  I will miss them so much. I love them all.  Today I showed my 8th graders a video that posed a physics question, and I asked them to figure out the answer, and they all actually started doing it and using their knowledge from what we've learned.  It was awesome.  And then in Earth Systems we were learning about clouds and I gave them all cans of shaving cream so they could make the cloud formations with the shaving cream.  I told them they had to make one big giant cumulonimbus cloud in the middle of the room (I had a dropcloth) and we ended up with a half a meter of shaving cream in the middle of my room.  It was awesome.  My 7th graders are doing body systems and we're learning about the circulatory system and taking care of your heart so we did aerobics today and took their pulse and then did corpse pose which they really did not grasp the relaxingness of it but it was still fun.  And I love them and I'm really going to miss them a lot.

And finally, I'm really sick of these Mormon Feminists.  I read this list of "grievances."  And all I could think is way to be offended by things you made up.  I'm starting to think that Mormon Feminists are girls who liked to start drama in Jr. High and never got over it and then of course hipsters because they always have to be "better" than everyone.  And what way to be better than everyone than finding fault?

So anyways as I was reading this list half the list made me react like this:

"You made that up in your head, because that is not even true." 
Like the one about turning a baby blessing into being about the man.  Guess what no one is thinking about the men as they are blessing the baby.  They probably aren't even thinking about the mom.  And if they are even thinking about anything it's the BABY.  Because the baby blessing is a blessing from our Heavenly Father for the Baby.  It's not like priesthood holders got together and were like "How can we make births about men?"  That didn't happen, I promise you.

And the other half made me think:
"You don't have to take everything people say in church as doctrine."
I just have never heard from a general authority that man has the final say in the home.  Just because some one says something in church doesn't mean it is true.  Doctrine is given or clarified at a time when the whole Church will be able to hear or have access to that information (General Conference anyone).  Not from Brother Smith in the Young Men's Presidency on a random Sunday in your ward.  I was in church once and the RS teacher kept quoting her mother on 'doctrine.'  This did not make me feel like questioning the church.  This just made me wish the girl had actually prepared for her lesson instead of talking to her mom on the phone for 4 hours.  Or when I was in RS and all the girls kept saying how we don't need science.  There is no official Church doctrine that says that.  So I just move on. 

I have never felt inferior when I go to the temple.  Or when I'm in church.  Or at mutual.  Or when I got my Young Women's manual instead of a Duty to God manual.  If you do, it's probably because you aren't understanding what is happening.  And you don't understand gender roles. 

I guess I just feel like maybe if they read and studied The Family: A Proclamation to the World they would understand a bit better.  I was telling Adrian how great the Proclamation to the World is.  It came at a time when same-sex marriage and relationships wasn't as big of an issue as it is today, and Mormon feminists were not even on the radar.  And it came because God knew that these issues were coming and we needed a resource and a guide to tell us of our sacred responsibilities as men, and women and as husbands and wives. 

And comments like this:
"I feel unequal when women have less prominent, prestigious, and public roles in the church, even before and after childrearing years." {via}
Make me feel like they just want the prestige of being seen and I just don't think that's why the men do those things.  I don't feel like they aspire to be Prophet or a general authority.  They may aspire to be like Christ in their actions, which I feel is worthy and something not exclusive to men at all.

And if men do aspire to those positions they usually don't get them.

and yes I realize that this sounds judgmental.

Goals

This year I will be a better blogger.

At least once a month.

Though, I'm not sure if any one still reads my blog.

We really started the new year off well.  We drove back from Phoenix on New Year's Day.
From warm, sunny Phoenix to freezing, snowy, depressing Provo.

Our drive back was nice though. 

I asked Adrian what his goals were for the year.  And we talked about our goals as a couple for the year. 

I think it's going to be a good year for sure.

I was going to add a nice picture of my family but it's being dumb so you'll have to just imagine us all happy.

Ring Out Wild Bells

So 2012 is over.

That's good

Woah I just looked out our window and there was a perfect flying V of ducks.

quack Quack QUACK QUACK

If you think that is weird then you need to watch "The Mighty Ducks" more often than you have.

Anyways...

It was a great year.  I got married and now I live with my best friend and that is really fun.  That was the best part of 2012.

I got a job teaching.  It has been interesting.  Fun and hard.

I'm looking forward to 2013 though.  I think it will be good. 

This year we will spend more time on the important things, like family and taking better care of ourselves.  Spiritually and physically.

Though things in the world seem perilous at times I'm really happy to know that I have Adrian with me.  He makes me feel safe.  I love him very much.

I'm A Teacher

I'm actually in teacher training right now.

I'm nervous.

I feel unprepared.  But that's cool.

Prayers would be appreciated. 

This diagram describes me.